Stupid love in anime

*Includes spoilers. All media credits go to their owners.*

AaAAaaaarrrgghhh! What's up? Well, I watched the latest Fairy Tail episode and so I'm pissed off. Like WTF??? What the eff-ing crap?? Double-uuuu-teee-eff. Stoooopid sh....
If you're any kind of romance-in-shounen fan like me, you will immediately know why.
It's not very often we get to witness our favourite characters in shounen animes finding happiness and getting together with someone. So this week, when there was a chance that the magnificent and awesome Erza would actually be seriously reunited with probably the love of her life, the creators of the manga decide that: Nope. No, sorry, ma'am, that will not happen.
Now why the hell would you even go through the trouble of inserting a kissing scene into the show when you're going to fuck it up anyway? Seriously, it's almost as good as throwing those minutes into the bin. Maybe it's okay on paper, in the manga, but the anime crew has to do it too then!
Also, what the hell is the logic behind this kind of behaviour? Let me break it down for you:
Jellal did all kinds of BS to Erza and then, when they finally meet again, and know they both have feelings for each other, he decides on the last second that not only is he going to brood over the evil stuff he did in the past while he was possessed, but also he is going hurt poor Erza even more by rejecting her with a stupid excuse. So dude... basically you first bash her faith in you and then bash her feelings... 
Instead of redeeming yourself by making her happy... you just... aaghhh... I don't even...
Well done - well done! Today we salute you, irrational logic guy!

Erza rejected by Jellal

But that's not really unusual in anime, is it. Japanese people find ALL kinds of retarded excuses why it's not possible for the two lovers to be together. Like in 5 Centimeters Per Second - which is a very good movie and extremely beautiful, 12/10 on the visual. But oh my fking ... - that synopsis is completely stupid. Ok, so the boy falls in love, there's a huge depressive adventure and some happiness and then BOOM! Suddenly they stop writing and calling and everything. True - at first the time was in the 80s-90s, there were no mobile phones. But then he gets a mobile phone TO NEVER CALL OR TEXT HER ANYWAY. He writes texts to no one. Never sends them. 
Dude... what the hell is your problem? If you're going to spend years and years thinking about her and being horribly sad over not being able to be with her, then how about you call her?? Call her, maybe? I cannot emphasize this enough.
Maybe you shouldn't sit around and wait for life to happen and be depressed all the time. Maybe, just maybe you should go and try to - oh I don't know - DO something so that you wouldn't regret it forever and ever? I mean, he knew what was gnawing at his soul. Might as well have gone and tried. Right? Right?!?! Yeah, you better agree or angry Rika is going to come hit you with a shoe :x

Alright, so besides not anything whatsoever in anime, they then go to the entire other end of the scale. 
Which might actually be even worse. Because in the first case they're scared or vulnerable or whatever wimpy reason they have (seriously, am I the only one with balls around here?? And I don't even fucking have them), but in the second case they're just plain dumb. Like in Zetman. They met, he didn't even like her. He wanted to throw her out. And then...

...Hai?

He saved her - sure, sounds nice. They kissed - great. Must be hard living alone all the time, so a little smooching might cheer poor Jin up, eh ? 
But then suddenly they're creating a family and all. What the hell did I miss exactly?? In that picture above you can see a better translation, but in my version there was:
"I want to try the family thing with you."
Hello?
Yes, this is dog?
Crazy.

At least they have sex after that scene, so I'm happy with that. I'm always happy when the main character gets laid. Yay for you, Jin!

In general, I'm still too angry to write any further, so I'll see you next week.  

Crazy Japanese stuff in anime

*Includes spoilers. All media credits go to their owners.*

Okay, so this week it all started with me showing the Mameshiba world to a friend of mine. He laughed and scratched his head and showed it to all his friends. (Btw if you don't know what Mameshiba is, I really urge you to go click the link - hours of Japanese style mental fun).
I first saw the Mameshiba ad when I was watching Ao no Exorcist (Blue Exorcist) and for some reason the stream had these crazy little dog-beans running around and singing in ridiculously squeaky voices in between the real show. Here:

So by the end of the series, I was more looking forward to these dog-beans than the show itself. Turns out the little buggers show up at the most unexpected time to pester you with extremely random trivia.   
Now, let me ask you - who the hell thinks of something like that? So one day you go to work and tell your boss: "Ok, so today we could work on these characters who are beans... but also dogs! And to make things more interesting, they also have a broad horizon!" "Ow, right, brilliant plan!"  
Well... I hope he got a promotion, cause the Mameshiba are very entrancing.  

But it got me thinking about all the completely mental stuff that you can encounter in animes - and I don't even mean the usual things like trying to see girls panties or getting a nosebleed when you think about too perverted things. 
First of all, Japanese people have really weird ideas about western culture. It's as if their legends and myths were true, and ours are just... optional. Like good ol' Saber here.
 

Let me break it down for you: the chosen one just happened to be a girl, named Arturia, but since no one thought it was possible for a woman to rule and yet the will of Excalibur was unquestionable, they all pretended she was a man. Okay, that may not be too bad, right? Except then, in Fate/Zero, we are revealed that Arturia married Guinevere who became her queen, mostly just for the appearance of it. A 'king' has got to have her queen, yo. Then everyone freaked out when Guinevere fell in love with Lancelot. Let me quote (from FSN wikia):  

When Lancelot and the queen began their affair, the Knight of the Lake considered fleeing Camelot with her, but his loyalty to Arturia and his sense of duty prevented him from doing so. When political enemies of the king exposed the affair, the queen was ordered to be executed. Left with little choice, Lancelot attempted to save her, killing several of his fellow knights including Gawain's brothers Gareth and Gaheris in the process. 

Which is why Berserker was born. There's a bit of a different view on it under the Saber link, but the point remains - basically there were two woman, married to each other, but there was no lesbian action nor was neither of them allowed to secretly get a guy. Sounds legit. Very much Japanese-style self sacrifice. And a beautiful western legend - raped.

Another curious thing - maybe not so much about crazy Japanese stuff, but more about their view on life and love - there is almost never ever any love or kissing (and things are faaaaaar from sex) in anime, especially if it's about school and magic. But then in 11 Eyes, it suddenly becomes OK! Because they're doing it to give the guy more power - so that he could go save his girlfriend :D
Dayum dude, your girlfriend might not be too happy about that.

Anyway, coming back to real Japanese weirdness, have a look at what they've done with the French Maid concept.

So they took a sexy costume, added cat, made the girls say 'nyan-nyan' to satisfy Japanese perversion and shoved them into café's. Awesome. That's exactly who I want to be serviced by - submissive Japanese hybrids of cat and maid.

Now let's talk about the legendary move by Hatake Kakashi. Oh yes, Naruto knows all about it, the poor boy. Sennen Goroshi or a Thousand Years of Death/Pain. Well yes, it sure sounds like it. What exactly went through the heads of whoever created this? "Well, I've got a plan - lets make this grown up epic ninja, who is also the rolemodel and teacher of these three kids, stick his fingers up the boys butt. But only as a lesson, okay?" .... Right.
Btw, seen this move elsewhere too. I'm guessing that means they really use it, huh...   

Aaaand then there's Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai (Seriously, Fall in Love With Me) or Majikoi for short that is pretty much on the highest level of mental I have ever seen (okay, at least among the more respectable ones). One girl sneaks into the male lead's bed every morning to try and have sex with him, so he leaves a rolled up futon with a cucumber attatched to it as a decoy. Why? He doesn't want her.
 She also replaces all of his porn with images of herself (overly attatched girlfriend much?), even made him an erotic video game starring... herself. There are scenes where the protagonist wiggles his balls around to show how much they resemble some Japanese deep fried food; people hold embarrassed conversations in the buff for like 5 minutes in a row, talking about how it shouldn't be embarrassing; a penis-festival; a lesbian limbless cyborg... pretty much everything you can think of.
What caught my eye especially was a totally new level of street perversion. So this little dude, Ikurou Fukumoto is obsessed with getting panty-shots with his camera and when he fails, he calms himself down with his ultimate technique:

Yes, he pretends his fingers look like girls lower body. And yep, the inside of his elbow is her butt. For some reason, I'm not sure this is entirely fiction... oh that's right! Maybe because Japanese people tend to sniff dirty panties, too...   

I have more grains to spill next Friday. In the meanwhile share your opinion - what crazy stuff have you seen?